unititled
I cannot think of any more titles to give my postings. I just beginning to realise that all that happened seem to between my husband and me. I love and trust God only, but cannot understand why it is so hard to love thy neighbours, because these are real people and some times they are not sincere and put on a false front. A very good example is my husband, he can be very nice one moment and nasty another moment. How can I put my trust in them. God, I am at a crossroad, to leave or not to leave him after all these twenty over years. My daughter has grown up and will live her own life as she is already 20 years old, old enough to take charge of her own life. So there is no more worries about her even if I divorce my husband.
Sometime, I just want to give up everything and tell him to give me back half of the money paid for our apartment and with the money I will get another government apt and live by myself. Just like what my daughter use to tell me to do after she realise how the father treats me.
As I am dependent on my husband because he is bring in the bacon. Can I manage on my own? God please help to decide on this issue which I have always have it covered up under the carpet. I have take my marriage vow very serious because I was married in Church and always remember the phase will death we part.
To me divorce is a bad reputation and the Church does not allow only under certain circumstances. (for example if the husband beats the wife) for my case, I dont know how to describe our relationship (hatred/love). He always likes to go out in the night with his friends and since I am not so sociable and he always leave me at home. I feel lonely at time, last nite, I was not able to sleep, and drank the can of beer and had a bad feeling (I do not drink beer at all, since I cant stop them I might as well join them). With all this loneliness, I sometimes, I tell my daughter that it is better to be loved than to love someone.
Sometimes, I ask God why not give me money so that I can be self sufficient and stand on my own two feet, or let me have cancer and die within 6 months or less so that I can meet him in heaven and lastly take my husband away from me. I am still waiting for a answer from God.
I have known couples married for many years and they still breakup once the children had grown up. (it seems the most common). As for my case, I know that my husband loves my daughter more than me therefore, he will surely take care of her. As I have said before, I feel most comfortable without my husband around because I am use to not having him around most of our married life.
I am still waiting for God guidance in this issue. God, I turn to you for help.
Oh, feel so much better after pen down my pain in writing. It a load off me.
Sometime, I just want to give up everything and tell him to give me back half of the money paid for our apartment and with the money I will get another government apt and live by myself. Just like what my daughter use to tell me to do after she realise how the father treats me.
As I am dependent on my husband because he is bring in the bacon. Can I manage on my own? God please help to decide on this issue which I have always have it covered up under the carpet. I have take my marriage vow very serious because I was married in Church and always remember the phase will death we part.
To me divorce is a bad reputation and the Church does not allow only under certain circumstances. (for example if the husband beats the wife) for my case, I dont know how to describe our relationship (hatred/love). He always likes to go out in the night with his friends and since I am not so sociable and he always leave me at home. I feel lonely at time, last nite, I was not able to sleep, and drank the can of beer and had a bad feeling (I do not drink beer at all, since I cant stop them I might as well join them). With all this loneliness, I sometimes, I tell my daughter that it is better to be loved than to love someone.
Sometimes, I ask God why not give me money so that I can be self sufficient and stand on my own two feet, or let me have cancer and die within 6 months or less so that I can meet him in heaven and lastly take my husband away from me. I am still waiting for a answer from God.
I have known couples married for many years and they still breakup once the children had grown up. (it seems the most common). As for my case, I know that my husband loves my daughter more than me therefore, he will surely take care of her. As I have said before, I feel most comfortable without my husband around because I am use to not having him around most of our married life.
I am still waiting for God guidance in this issue. God, I turn to you for help.
Oh, feel so much better after pen down my pain in writing. It a load off me.
posted by mich at 6:50 PM
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