Hope

A new day and a day of hope for every one on earth. Here, I hope for Heaven, which is the final destination for all. God give me the strength to live my life with all the hopes that I can find. I pray that hope be given to all my relatives and friends especially to those most in need of them.

Uncondition Love

Here, I can express my inner feeling without hurting anyone. I just want respect from my daughter who sometimes ignores me. After 17 years of bonding she can still behaves like that which is very saddening. When she was young, she was very close to me but after she reached 18 years old , she changed completely which I sometimes cannot understand. I felt very much relieved after saying all those bad things about her. I know I should not have said them but they just keep bugging me all this while, might as well clear out all these thoughts. Now, I know it is wrong to say them, at least I will try to accept her as she is and surrender her to God and let God take over to guide her. My husband has been very understanding which is good if not the situation will be worse off than now. Praise God for this.

God, I leave her to you, help her to find her own identity and lead her away from evil temptations. (God, you have helping me all these years, please help her too.)

On my part I will try to pray for her and give her the support whenever she needs me. God give me the grace to do all that.

Wild

Sometimes, I wonder how come God give such a wild daughter to me. When she was young she was quite obedience. Once she reach 18 plus, she got boyfriends and do not like her old self and became very wild in her thinking (piercing and tatooing). I am shock that she changed so much in such a short time. I sometimes would like to disown her but my husband is very patient with her. The sight of her is like a devil to me sometimes. Nowadays, I hate talking to her and the things she does is really not my cup of tea. It sads me to say which things about my own daughter, but I just cant seems to bottle the feeling of her in me any more. I think that she is a disgrace to me and my husband. Anyway, I always tell her that it is her life & that she will have to be answerable to God. When she was younger, we have protected her, guess we as parents have done our part. Now she does what she likes and seems to have no respect for us as parents.
I just hope that she will change for the better when she goes out to work.
The only thing, I can now is to pray for her.

Surprise

Nowadays, I hardly have dinner with my my daughter, today she sms for dinner and I am a bit worried when I have dinner with her, it can turn out nasty after a few conversations. (there seems to be a generation gap) Whenever, she called there is always sometime in her mind to tell me if not, she prefer to have dinner with her friends. Since having a boyfriend she do not talk much to me and all her energy is with her boyfriend (my husband alway says that phrase). My husband wish to join us and I informed her about, I pray that with all misunderstanding will go away and both my husband and me will give her all the understanding and a listening ear. This daughter of mine, has always been closer to me than the father when she was young. Now as she has grown up, she does not need me and instead wants a boyfriend as a soulmate. Now that she has grown up, we do not communicate at all in the house, sometimes, I do not know whether she is at home or not. Whenever, I talk to her she will brush me off. I really feel at a lost and cant understand her. Is that how young people think nowadays? Those who have only one child can enlighten me whether they are in the same situation as I have encountered. Parents do comment please.

God pray that we have a pleasant dinner together.

Visit to the Most Blessed Sacrament

Today, is my weekly visit to the Most Blessed Sacrament for a hour adoration.
As usual, I always feel free of worries, whenever, I visit this most scared place. Here, I am able to bear all my thoughts out to our Lord in this Most Blessed Sacrament where he is present.
Here I always reflect and pray and listen to our Lord.

Find person

Today, again under to locate someone's blog site. Can anyone help me to find people on blogsite.

Fairness

God has been kind and fair to my family all these years, I have always been content with my life, even when I was young, I do not seem to have worry much about anything, until when I got married, though I worry a bit but God seem to put in place everything for me. Now the biggest worry is my daughter, I pray hard that she will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead a good christian life. Life can be very hard at times, but once I surrender my life to God and prepare to do God's will, then God will surely take care of my life in this temporary journey in my life.

Thankgivings to God

Thank you God for all my prayers answered which are so numerous.

Today is again a day of silence for me because my husband says that I talk too much. In order to please him and have peace in the family is to keep silence. For me now, silence is golden, therefore, talking to God is the best option for me. Even I now talk less and less to my husband and daughter but I have one consolation is that there is still God around to listen to me. Praise and Adore God.

That all I have to say for today, in order not to bored everyone.

Fasting and praying

To day for me is ask God for the strength to fast and pray as I prepare for lent season.

For Lunar New Year celebration, the 1st day is to visit my siblings and my husband's siblings and his relatives. For the 20 years after my marriage, my husband has not visited my siblings during this festival, which I do not know the reason why he do not seem to be comfortable with them. I will always bring my only daughter there for visiting because I do not like to force my husband to go with us. After all these years, sometimes, i wonder why has it be so that he do not like to visit them at all. I have learned to accept it for all these years. On the 2nd day of the Lunar New Year holiday was spend with my husband and he drove around the island and realised that he does not have much friends to visit and my daughter has her own programe.

Sometimes, I ask God, when will my life end so that I can be in Heaven with him. I have done my job as a mother to my daughter who is 20 years old this year and will not need my attention as much as when she was young. Now she seem to want to have her own lifestyle and there is left only my husband and myself. Maybe, both of us can spend more time together and I find it hard to adjusting spending so much time together. God, you have blessed us quite well in our this section of our life, and my husband's job is demanding but he still can have his own time. As for myself, I am helping him in this office and also have time to be prayful to God, which I am really very grateful to God for leting me turn to him in my forties, which is semi retirement for me.

I want to write down as much thoughts as I could in this blog page so that I also express my feeling which is sometimes bottled up in me because my husband is quite selfish and will not want to hear others problems because he seem to have a lot of problems within himself. Since we are married for 20 over years and being a Catholic and married in Church, I will alway remember the vow that I have taken till death we part.

Reflection

I am very free to put my thoughts in the blog page because I am working in my husband's office, I am very thankful to God for this. I am in my late forties and think this is the best job available for me. Sometimes, a person really have to take all things in prayer while on earth. I once hear a priest preach that our destination is heaven and look forward ending our journey there.

Happiness

Happiness, is to be satisfied with whatever God bless us. Today, I tried to surrender myself to God's will and be contended. This is happiness, although I sometimes feel a little sad that in my neighbour, a young man with a young wife & 2 young children has passed away after battling with cancer since a year ago. I saw him from a healthy man till the last I saw of him as a sick man. God bless his soul and bless his wife and children.

The same time last year my step sister also passed away after battling with cancer. I find life to be very vulerable and at the mercy of God, why not then pray to God in union with his will to live our life.

Praise & glory to God.

Prayer

I will remind myself to pray everyday thru this blog site.
God, please give my daughter and her boyfriend the gifts of the Holy Spirit who is always forgetten third person in the Holy Trinity to strength their relationship through your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

In this way, I will remember what I have prayed for because there are too prayers to remember.

Thank you God for this day.

ANOTHER DAY

Thank God, another new day, I seem to be counting my days like I am dying from a terminal illness. I am very pious now and praying often for my daughter and my husband who seem to be drifting away from me. I really have nothing much new to talk about, therefore, that is all for today.